The Essay

She sat in a college cafeteria. surrounded by people she knew, including the love of her life and the father of her two children, clinking of the silverware, smells of cafeteria food, and the noise of the voices around. She contemplated next homework; future school assignment. Life was nice. Quite peaceful and crazy at the same time. With two kids and schoolwork, there was not much time to contemplate many other things. It was all she could muster to handle schoolwork, her teaching schedule, and kids. Suddenly someone perked up at the table and pointed to the entryway: ”Look that guy with white beard: Bill Neff. He is a great filmmaker. Did you know they have an amazing film program here?” “Wow! A film. That would be so awesome to be able to do something like that,” she thought for a brief moment. But the thought drowned quickly in the daily routine: kids, school, teaching, kids and friends and all the simple pleasures that daily routine brings. For the time being, she lived in a comfortable cocoon surrounded by people who needed her and who supported and loved her. Ten years later, the thought came back. At first, it was not clear and obvious. The thought came more like it has been birthed. Hard and painful transformation opened the channel. And slowly with each new agony and contraction made it’s way out from the abyss. Until one day it was out in the open screaming and crying for its life in the world. New future that needs her care, her nurturing and all the skills she has, to ensure that this new visceral child is going to thrive. But, for now, this new concept is happily cuddled in her arms. Washed and cleaned and so undeniable, it is hard to remember why it was not always so obvious.